Let’s Ditch the Resolutions and Focus on Feelings

Let’s Ditch the Resolutions and Focus on Feelings in 2023

Written by Amy C. Willis

We are just a little over a week into 2023. First off, if you’re reading this, you survived 2022 – congrats!

By now, you’ve likely been exposed to a plethora of New Year’s Resolutions posts, emails, and newsletters, much of which is likely focused on things like weight loss, extreme dieting and exercise. We don’t know about you but we’re over it. 

While the idea of resolutions can feel really appealing, we wanted to propose something new to you: what would happen if we ditched resolutions all together and instead focused on how we want to *feel* and then take actions to support Focus on Feelings?

January can feel very symbolic of new beginnings but it can sometimes lull us into thinking that January is the only time we can create change, do things differently or try something new. Despite the cultural popularity of New Year’s Resolutions, there isn’t anything special about January 1st that can’t also happen on July 8th or March 17th or October 29th or whenever the mood strikes you. Sometimes the pressure created around New Year’s Resolutions prods us into committing to something (like a diet or a new gym membership) even though our heart isn’t in it. We start out strong but then the excitement and motivation from the New Year wears off and it’s January 13th and we’re back to our old ways of doing things, feeling like we failed, again. 

But here’s the thing: is it really a failure if we got swept up in resolutions not because we wanted to do the “the thing” but because there was social pressure to do so? Were we really interested in participating in this arbitrary tradition anyway? Is it possible that we’re looking for the feeling behind the thing or we thought that by doing the thing, we would get the focus in feelings? Have you considered there might be another way to get there?

Instead of resolutions, let’s focus on feelings. Here are some tips on how to do that:

How Do You Want To Feel?

This could be in your body, in your relationships, in your space, at work, in movement, when it comes to money, etc. Spend some time really reflecting on this. Write it down if that helps you. Once you get clear on how you want to feel, spend some time brainstorming some actions you could take that could support those feelings. 

Here are some examples to clarify what this can look like and to inspire some ideas for you:

• How do I want to feel in my body? Calm, at ease, loving

What can I do to prompt those feelings: provide care for my body including eating foods that nourish it, inviting pleasure, taking long, luxurious baths, moving as my body desires, resting, massage, challenging any negative self-talk when it arises

• How do I want to feel in your home? Spacious, quiet, serene

What can I do to prompt those feelings: clear out any clutter in the rooms you spend the most time in, get rid of old furniture that you don’t use, create silent spaces, create spa music playlists to have playing in the background, diffuse your favorite scent

Use these examples to spark some creative thinking in your own life and don’t forget to follow the and focus on feelings!

Take Action When You Feel Inspired

Starting new habits or routines on January 1st, while exciting, is also arbitrary. Instead of waiting to start something new that excites you, start now. Start anytime you feel the spark of inspiration. Sometimes, when we wait to get started, our brains can create all kinds of reasons to not pursue the thing we want to pursue and by the time the future date arrives, we’ve talked ourselves out of it. Start now and ride the wave of inspiration.

Start Small

When it comes to change, sometimes we can get so excited that we want to tackle a bunch of things simultaneously. And while we love the enthusiasm behind that, we also know that that’s the fast track to overwhelm which can lead to paralysis and often, reverting back to how we used to do things. If you are inspired to create some change and you’ve gotten clear first on how you want to feel, when it comes to taking action, start small. Using the examples from above, if you’re hoping to create a feeling of spaciousness in your home, start by tackling a drawer or area in a room. Decide which scent you want to diffuse and purchase it. You don’t have to overhaul your entire home in a weekend to get the feeling. Small steps over time add up to a massive impact.

Celebrate Your Wins

Change is hard so if you’ve decided that you’re going to create something new and different for yourself, remember to both acknowledge and celebrate yourself and your wins. Don’t skip this step as it’s a really important part of the process of creating new habits. Regardless of the outcome, if you’re striving towards feeling the way you want to feel, consider it a win. 

If any of the feelings work that you’re doing revolves around how you feel in relation to your body, you should consider taking a peek at our Stop Wishing Your Body Was Different: A Workshop on How to Feel at Home in Your Bod! 

This workshop is for you if you have ever:

• Felt shame about your body
• Felt like your body was wrong
• Worried about wearing a bathing suit
• Been embarrassed to go up a size in clothes
• Been on a diet
• So much more

This workshop is $47 USD – Click here to sign up! This workshop is 4 weeks in length and we start January 18th! I will most definitely be there and I hope to see you there, too!

How do you feel about letting your feelings guide your actions? Let us know in the comments.

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Xoxo,