my complicated relationship with money
In 2021 I started an educational journey to become more financially competent (read more about that here). One of the things that I have been reflecting on during the past year, is the relationship I have with money. How I feel about money, and what I think it means about people who have lots of it. The first step of the program I am taking is addressing and healing your relationship with money, or at least understanding how you feel about it.
what comes to mind when you think of people who have money?
In one exercise, you are asked to write down the first thought that comes to mind when you hear a statement about money. For example:
“People who have money are __________” or “Spending money is _________”.
It didn’t take long to realize that I associated having money with being selfish. I believed you could not have money and be a good person. I also believed you should never want more money than exactly what you need to survive because wanting more was unbecoming, inappropriate and materialistic.
having money felt incompatible with my values
After coming to this realization, I began to understand why I had avoided dealing with money for so long. Being a good person is one of my most important values, so dealing with money made me feel disconnected from that value.
I have been trying to unlearn the connection I have between money and selfishness. I am trying to hold that multiple truths can be true at one time.
Some people with money are indeed selfish, it is also true that some people without money are selfish.
Some people with money are indeed generous and kind, and it is also true that some people without money are generous and kind.
It is not black or white, there is a lot of grey area.
money and morals
I had long held beliefs that if I became more financially literate that it would change who I am. I assumed that I would have to bend my morals or values to move ahead. But by getting to witness the intentional work we are doing at bebo mia, as well as connecting with some incredible humans in the Dow Janes community I am starting to let go of that belief.
In the Dow Janes community there are thousands of women, like me, who are working to learn about and heal their relationship with money. Many of them are passionate about putting money behind causes that are important to them.
investing with intention
Women in this group are asking such insightful questions. Such as wanting to know about investing in clean energy and green alternatives. They want to support social enterprises and political campaigns that align with their values. They care just as deeply as I do about people, and the world and they are finding ways to spend their money in support of making the world a better place to live.
It feels like I’ve been behind the curve in realizing that having money doesn’t make you bad, or a different person. Money is a vehicle that can help you invest in causes that are important to you. It brings me so much hope, and joy to know that there are people out there who care, and are investing their money into making the world a better place. I someday hope to be able to do the same, if/when I get to the investing step of my program lol.
I haven’t gotten it fully figured out yet
Full disclosure, I am still working on my relationship with money. By no means do I have it all figured out, but I am working on it. I feel more comfortable, confident and capable in my abilities to manage my finances than I ever have before. Even when things are not pretty to look at, and I feel overwhelmed with where I am at. It feels better to face it head on than it ever did with my head in the sand.
We’ve all gotta start somewhere right? Here’s hoping next year I know even more than I do now.
What is your relationship with money like? Feel free to share in the comments.
This is part two of installments about money, and what I am learning through The Million Dollar Year. If you would like support and education on gaining financial freedom from financial experts I highly recommend Dow Janes, and you can use the code BEBOFRIEND to get $100 off!
Let’s start talking about money, and getting comfortable in our finances, let’s hone in on our financial power!
my complicated relationship with money?
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