Doula Training 101: What Doulas Actually Do Day to Day

If you are thinking about doula training, your brain is probably full of half answers.

Instagram makes it look oh so beautiful with those curated birth videos. Then you start you Google and it alllll falls apart (hence you are here reading this blog… also, thanks for that!)

Let’s slow this way down…

Because most people do not actually know what a doula does day to day, that confusion is exactly what makes this whole path feel overwhelming, risky, or unrealistic, especially if you have kids at home, aging parents, another job, or a nervous system that cannot be on all the time. Check, check, check over here, amiright?!

Doula work is powerful precisely because it is flexible. Buuut, it is also misunderstood.

So let’s talk about what doulas actually do. Not just birth doulas, but postpartum doulas, fertility doulas, and people building a sustainable doula business that fits your real (and busy ass) life.

Doula work is not one job. You wear many doula hats.

When you are working as a birth doula, you are doing three things simultaneously during the months you are supporting clients.

This is true whether you trained through a doula training online or in person, and it is something good doula certification programs should explain clearly.

You also get to choose how many months a year you are actively taking clients, which is an awesome pro of having a doula business. Many doulas do not take clients every month. Some pause in the summer. Some avoid holidays. Some super fillll their roster in busy months like March and September.

That flexibility is part of the work and we are here for it!

Ok, but let’s look at the 3 things that you are doing simultaneously when you are birth doula and on call. 

The first lever is connecting

This is how people know you exist and where you spend most of your time when you are working on your business.

A sustainable doula business does not rely on going viral – which is really good news! Research on small service based businesses consistently shows that word of mouth and local connection drive the majority of bookings, especially in care work.

Our care is intimate and pricey. Those are two things that mean folks need to know you or have someone they know rave about you.

This is why strong doula training includes community building, not just birth physiology like weekend trainings offer. Read more about that here!

Connecting looks like being visible in your local area. Talking with midwives. Meeting other doulas. Showing up at parenting spaces. Building relationships with people who already serve pregnant and postpartum families. Literally, make sure the butcher and dry cleaners know about you. For real. Go door to door at the local businesses and let them know who you are. 

At bebo mia, we intentionally teach how to do this off social media, because many doulas do not want to be content creators to survive. You can learn more about our approach to community led work on building community without social media here.

Many doulas set aside one day a week for connection. Others break it into smaller chunks. If you have young kids, they can often come with you. Being seen as a whole human is not a liability in care work and depending on if this sets your kid(s) up for success, it is often what builds trust.

The second lever is preparing and supporting current clients

This is where most of your energy goes. Depending on the clients, they may not actually make a lot of contact with you. Others will blow up your phone e’ry day!

If you are supporting families through pregnancy as a birth doula, you are answering texts and emails. You are helping them prepare for tests, screenings, appointments, and decisions. You are holding space for fear, excitement, anger, grief, and uncertainty. Birth doula clients go through a roller coaster of feelings over their pregnancy!

Prenatal appointments are usually about two hours long, and most birth doulas offer two or three in their packages. These can happen virtually or in person, depending on your distance, arrangement etc. 

Postpartum doula work looks different but follows the same rhythm. You will offer ongoing support and check- ins, education, emotional regulation and that hands on care. Your whole mission is helping families feel less alone in the early weeks.

Fertility doula support often involves even more communication. Cycle tracking questions. Medical appointments. Waiting periods. Loss. Hope. That work is deeply relational, which is why fertility doula training must include trauma informed communication, not just information. You do a lot of space holding as a fertility doula. It is really important and beautiful work. 

If you want to understand how bebo mia approaches this kind of preparation and care, our doula training programs are outlined here
https://www.bebomia.com

The third lever is being on call and attending births 

This is the part everyone talks about.

This is also the smallest percentage of your time.

If you are taking one to two birth clients a month, you will be on call during those windows and you will attend births when they happen. That does mean arranging backup care for kids or other responsibilities during those days. Please, please, have a backup for all services you offer!

What matters is this: You schedule your prenatal appointments. You answer messages from wherever you are. Sooooo, births are the only part of the job that takes you fully out of the home.

This is why many doulas can do this work while parenting, caring for elders, volunteering, or holding other paid roles.

Birth doula work means you can be home the majority of the time!

A doula is not just someone who shows up at birth

This is the piece most people miss.

Day to day doula work includes client communication, emotional support, education, boundary setting, documentation, referrals, follow up, and often community building. Birth support is one part of a much larger role.

Research on care work and emotional labor shows that relational skills make up the majority of the job. This is why good doula training focuses on communication, consent, regulation, and presence, not just comfort measures.

If you feel overwhelmed by the idea of becoming a doula, it is probably because you have only been shown the highlight reel. Beautiful birth videos without the context of how the work actually fits into real life.

That is not an accident. But it is incomplete information.

Where doula certification actually matters

Not all doula certification programs prepare you for this reality.

Many focus heavily on birth without talking about sustainability, boundaries, income, or the emotional labor involved. Others rush the education into a weekend and send people out feeling unprepared. We have written a PASSIONATE open letter that you can read here.

Educational research consistently shows that spaced learning leads to stronger integration and confidence. This is especially true for trauma informed care work re: doula work! 

If you are exploring doula training online, look closely at whether the program teaches communication skills, business foundations, and real world application, not just hip squeezes.

You can read more about how to choose a doula training program on our blog here.

 

So what does a real doula work week look like

Real talk, it looks like a mix.

Some days are quiet, while some days are super, duper full. Some weeks you are at back to back births. Other weeks you are networking, learning, or resting. (Love a rest week btw.)

This is why so many people are drawn to postpartum doula work, fertility doula support, or blending roles over time – they are so scheduled. A doula business can evolve as your life evolves.

There is no one right way to do this.

If you are thinking about starting

The next question people always ask is “okay, but how do I actually start?”

That is where step by step guidance matters, and that is something we are excellent at.

We walk people through that process inside our doula training programs, including how to choose your focus, how to structure your time, and how to build a business that does not burn you out.

If you want to explore what that looks like, you can start here
www.bebomia.com/doulatraining

Doula work is not just birth.

Doula work is care and it is powerful and deeply intimate relationships. It is being the presence for folks in their most vulnerable states. And it is work that can fit into a real human life when you are given the full picture.