feeling discouraged after watching ‘Our Father’ on Netflix

Written by Meg Kant

feeling discouraged after watching ‘Our Father’ on Netflix 

Earlier this week I watched the Netflix Documentary ‘Our Father’. It shares the true story of Dr. Donald Cline, a fertility doctor, who used his own sperm to impregnate 94 of his clients without their consent. 

Our team had so many thoughts on the documentary so we put together this blog about it. If you want a fiery read and deep analysis on the documentary I highly recommend you check it out. 

the entitlement

Firstly I want to share why I found this film particularly haunting. 

While there were many things in this documentary that either broke my heart or added fire to my rage, there was so much harm done, with absolutely no legal consequences.  

Cline’s sense of entitlement really bothered me. Despite causing immense harm to so many people he felt that he deserved leniency. And after violating hundreds of people, he was still owed his own autonomy and privacy.  In addition, regardless of all the people he violated, he felt should be protected.

Jacoba is fierce

In one interaction we see Dr. Cline calling Jacoba, one of the children unknowingly born with his DNA and he asks her to shut down the media interest in the story. He pleads, expressing concern for his wife and his marriage, should the story go public. He begs for sympathy and seems to believe that the fact he is married should excuse him from being held responsible for his actions. He wants his actions hidden because he doesn’t want harm coming to HIS family or moreover for HIS secrets to be exposed.

Thank goodness Jacoba is not having any of it. I would have had a really hard time watching the documentary if it wasn’t for Jacoba. She is fierce, determined and unwavering in her pursuit to bring justice to all the victims involved. Her rage is palpable and I connected with it so much.

where do we go?

Part of what is unbelievable (yet entirely on point) is that there has been no justice, no repercussions and no remorse. Cline didn’t lose his medical license and faced no charges for the violation to his patients.  It begs the question: how many other professionals are able to keep their harm hidden because of systems in place to protect them? How many other victims are desperately seeking justice for actions against them, only to be met with roadblocks?

As women, we are always told to “stay safe” and/or “keep our wits about us.”  However, where do we go, if we can’t lower our guard with the professionals we trust to: keep us safe; uphold our autonomy; and treat us with respect?

angry + discouraged 

If I am being honest, this week I am tired and deflated. It’s hard not to feel that predators like Cline will always have the upper hand, and the system will forever be stacked in their favor. But this documentary has hit a collective nerve, especially in those who identify as women.  Since women’s rage has historically led to significant changes in the world, I do have hope. It’s the hope that not all is lost and that our refusal to accept this kind of predatory behavior will not always be in vain.

For now I am giving myself permission to feel sad and discouraged. I know these feelings will not last and that many of us are working tirelessly to change our antiquated systems.  Rather than try to push through, I am allowing myself some grace, letting my heart be sad and acknowledging my feelings. I know soon I’ll need my energy to dismantle the systems that are keeping us down and I take solace in knowing that I won’t be doing it alone.

So much love. 

xoxo

Have you watched the documentary? If so, what were your thoughts? How did it make you feel? Feel free to share in the comments.

feeling discouraged after watching ‘Our Father’ on Netflix

Xoxo,