[wpseo_breadcrumb]
Written by Meg Kant
Finding another way doesn’t make you difficult, it makes you brave
Trusting yourself, paving your own way and doing things differently aren’t always the most popular options. Others might not be big fans, but that doesn’t mean doing what works for you is the wrong way of doing things. When I reflect back on the most impactful choices I’ve made in my life, they all began with the notion that “there must be another way.”
going against my inner “good girl”
Ironically this concept goes against almost everything my “good girl” persona understood. The messaging I ingested was not to “ruffle any feathers” or “go against the grain” if it meant making others feel uncomfortable. However, it left me feeling discontented, anxious and groundless.
the first time – body liberation
I don’t recall intentionally setting out to do things differently, rather it was born of necessity. What stands out first in my mind was reaching my breaking point one day after living almost a decade with an eating disorder. I finally broke down and said “there has to be another way. This cannot be my entire life.” And that was the beginning of my body liberation journey.
birth work
Next was when I was preparing for my son’s birth. I found myself drawn to the idea of an unmedicated, low intervention birth. At the time I wasn’t aware of anyone who would even consider it. After learning what typically occurs in hospital birthing units, I thought once again “there must be an alternative.” Unknown to me at the time, this initiated my journey towards a career in birth work.
biological infant sleep
When my oldest son was six months old when he stopped sleeping through the night. (He was a unicorn who started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks.) After being encouraged by my family and friends to sleep train, I gave it a shot but it didn’t take long for me to stop and think “there must be a different option”. This started my passion for supporting biological infant sleep.
equal partnership
When resentment around the distribution of domestic labour started building up in my relationship on multiple occasions, I couldn’t help but think once again that “there has to be another way”. With the help of my very supportive husband, some wonderful friends and great resources we are navigating our way through a different way.
it’s scary, hard and so incredibly worth it
In my adult life I have been committed to learning how to do things in a way that works best for me and my family, clients, colleagues, etc. When compelled to find a different and/or better way of doing things, so far it has been my experience that the benefits are well worth it, even when it was scary; and it felt scary a lot.
It was terrifying doing something knowing people would be upset, but also knowing it was the right thing to do. It was scary to show the pieces of myself that felt broken or unlovable to people I love the most. But I did them for me, and my family and my life and the rewards have been countless.
If something isn’t working, there’s always a possibility of a different way. I’ve seen it, touched it, lived it. Another way means saying no to things that are not for you, and letting yourself grow, change and not get stuck in a version of you that no longer serves you.
it doesn’t have to be all or nothing
Another way isn’t about changing our entire lives. It doesn’t have to mean moving, or changing jobs, etc. unless that is right for you. Another way just means another way of being… of letting yourself be who you are, of taking off the armor you’ve been wearing to protect yourself and letting yourself breathe in the magicalness of who you are.
It isn’t intangible or invisible, it is in the small steps you can take every day that honours your beautiful being.
Have you ever found yourself taking a path that other people considered difficult or complicated? What was that like for you? Share away in the comments, it might help someone else reading this!
Finding another way doesn’t make you difficult, it makes you brave
Click here to sign up to have the Hot + Brave blog land in your inbox every week!
Xoxo,
FREE ONLINE MINI-COURSE
BLISS IN BUSINESS RETREAT
Your future is created by what you do today — that's why we created a completely FREE mindset mini-course to help doulas and birth workers find bliss in their business!
This is so good. I find myself having to find my own a lot as a black woman with ADD. It’s a continuous radical acceptance work. Loving these blogs!
Oh my goodness Khessia, you have done such an incredible job of finding your own way! Your connection to your purpose, intuition and ability to follow them is so powerful. In case no one has told you lately, I hope you are so proud of yourself for doing what is right for you and your family ❤️ – Meg