The Truth About Doula Work That Most Courses Skip

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Becoming a Doula

Becoming a doula feels deeply meaningful. The idea of holding someone in one of their most vulnerable, powerful moments can be irresistible. Many prospective doulas invest in a doula course to learn the tools, techniques, and certifications they believe will prepare them for this path.

Yet many doula training programs focus heavily on the clinical, support, or logistical parts of labor and birth and skip or gloss over some of the hardest, messiest, most essential truths about doing the work. We want to pull those truths into the light. Let’s talk about what most courses leave out… so you can enter this work with eyes wide open. This is truly informed consent which is the foundation of doula care. 

You get all the information and make the best choice for you. 

The Problem with Weekend Doula Trainings

Let’s first examine how most doula trainings are taught. Google ‘doula training’ and you will see loads of weekend dates all ready for you to get your complete training over a Saturday and Sunday. 

Where did this come from?

We need to take it back to the late 1980s. The weekend training model was born decades ago, when Penny Simkin founded DONA International. At that time, the weekend doula training was designed primarily for white women learning to support white, hetero couples. The curriculum was built around comfort measures, not the complex realities of birthwork today. 

Back then, a weekend made sense. Now, it’s completely outdated. 

You can’t possibly learn trauma-informed care, fatphobia in medicine, racism in birth, hospital policies, insurance systems, safety, emotional care, and business/marketing all in two or three days. The adult brain can only truly absorb information in small chunks, two or three hours at a time, before reaching cognitive fatigue. So, by the end of a weekend course, most participants are exhausted and overwhelmed, not empowered and have taken in very little information. 

The truth is, you cannot master any professional skill in a single weekend… let alone one that demands the emotional depth, systemic understanding, and critical thinking that doula work requires.

That’s why at bebomia, we’ve intentionally moved away from that outdated weekend model. Our Maternal Support Practitioner (MSP) training unfolds over months, not days, because transformation takes time. 

You need space to integrate, to reflect, to practice, and to ask questions as you grow. Our live, online classes are built around how adults actually learn best: short, focused sessions, layered with mentorship, community support, and real-world application. We don’t just teach comfort measures, we teach context. You’ll explore anti-oppressive frameworks, trauma-informed care, systemic barriers in birthwork, business strategy, and emotional sustainability, all while being supported by a global community of doulas who get it.

What Most Courses Teach (and Why That’s Not Enough)

Before diving into what’s missing, let’s acknowledge: there’s value in most doula courses. They often offer:

• foundational anatomy, physiology, stages of labor
  
• comfort measures, pain coping techniques, positioning
  
• communication skills, consent, boundaries
  
• sometimes basics of business, marketing, client care
  

But these are the “table stakes.” They do not guarantee you’ll be prepared for the deep emotional work, systemic challenges, burnout, grief, conflict, or power dynamics you’ll face. Let me share the truths courses frequently skip, but which are vital if you intend to thrive.

Truth #1: The Emotional Weight Will Test You

Being a doula isn’t only about offering support physically. It’s about holding emotion, holding grief, holding fear, holding joy, sometimes all at the same time.

• You will feel your clients’ pain, hope, and disappointments. Without strong internal resilience, it can consume you.
  
• You will grieve with clients when birth doesn’t go as planned, or when loss occurs.
  
• You will carry stories home. Your off-hours may be haunted by births, especially traumatic ones.
  

Many courses might touch on “self-care” in a single module. But real emotional preparedness is more than bubble baths and journaling. It means developing a framework to debrief, process, compartmentalize, and let go. It means community, mentorship, supervision, boundaries.

You deserve that support too.

Truth #2: The System Always Has More Power Than You

Doula work doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It lives inside a medical system with hierarchies, protocols, implicit biases, hospital policies, insurance, staff dynamics, and more.

Most courses teach how to be present in birth. But few teach how to negotiate with hospital staff, how to manage power differentials, how to work across systems, or how to push back when your client’s autonomy is threatened.

You may walk into a hospital shift ready to advocate, only to be shut down by nurses, obstetricians, or hospital policies. You may see consent violated. You may see disrespect. You may see systemic racism, ableism, classism, fatphobia, or transphobia in how care is delivered. Many courses don’t prepare you for undoing that or navigating that terrain.

Truth #3: Your Income Will Be Inconsistent

Many training programs promise that being a doula can be a full-time income. Some do; many don’t, at least not right away.

Here’s what most courses skip:

• Seasonality: births don’t always align. You may have quiet months.
  
• Cancellations or transfers: clients may switch providers, change their minds, birth early, etc.
  
• Expenses you must bear: travel, supplies, training renewals, liability insurance, phone calls, time for preparation, follow ups, documentation.
  
• Emotional labor: that time spent preparing, debriefing, postpartum visits, checking in, messaging, the toll on your family… often uncompensated, undervalued.

You must build your financial safety net. You’ll need backup plans, multiple revenue streams, or a gradual transition from other work. Some doulas teach workshops, mentor, write, consult, or teach to stabilize income.

  

Truth #4: Boundaries Are Everything… and Hard

Doula work is relational. Clients will ask for your presence, your energy, your time, sometimes outside contracted hours. They may expect immediate responses, emotional labor, spontaneous visits, unplanned support.

If you don’t define, enforce, and revisit boundaries, you will burn out. Many courses include a small module on boundaries, but few teach how to hold boundaries when someone is in crisis, when a client is emotionally unstable, or when your heart wants to jump in anyway.

Boundaries aren’t “nice rules.” They are essential structures that protect you and your clients.

Want some awesome swipe copy to learn more about boundaries and how to implement them – click here.

  

Truth #5: The Logistics & Admin Are Nonstop

Doula courses may cover “business basics” in an afternoon. But the day-to-day admin becomes a weighty labor:

• Contracts, liability insurance, record keeping
  
• Scheduling, calendar management, travel logistics
  
• Client communications, follow-ups, planning sessions
  
• Marketing, web presence, social media, lead generation
  
• Finances, taxes, bookkeeping
  

You’ll often spend more time marketing, logistics, and systems than you do in births (especially early on). Courses that don’t show you how to build systems set you up to be overwhelmed.

Truth #6: Not All Clients Are Easy… And Not All Births Go “Well”

You will meet clients with trauma, mental health struggles, high fear, unrealistic expectations, rigid birth plans, power issues. You will need emotional agility, strong communication, de-escalation skills, and trauma-informed approaches.

Also, many births aren’t “rosy.” There will be tears, despair, regret, medical complications, disappointment, loss. You must be prepared not to fix but to accompany, to witness, to hold space for grief. Some courses treat birth as always heroic story; real life is often more complex.

Truth #7: Your Self Must Be Part of the Work

Being a doula is also spiritual, psychological, emotional. You can’t leave yourself at the door.

• Your own nervous system gets activated in hard moments
  
• Your beliefs, biases, auto-responses will show up
  
• You must engage in ongoing reflection, self-awareness, peer work
  

Courses often treat you as a blank slate, but in truth you bring your whole self. The work is also about healing, confronting your history, facing your triggers. That inner labor is never optional.

Truth #8: Community, Mentorship & Supervision Matters More Than Certificates

Many courses sell you the credential, the badge, or the “complete package.” But once the training is over, you can feel isolated.

What you really need often includes:

• A peer community of doulas, to debrief, vent, hold you
  
• Mentorship from experienced doulas who can guide you
  
• Clinical supervision or reflective practice
  
• Safe spaces for emotional release
  

That kind of support is rarely included in a basic doula training. If your course doesn’t offer these, plan to build them.

A Special Note About Location: 

You may operate in Canada or in the U.S., the regulatory and systemic context differs. Many courses do not adequately localize their material, they teach generic “hospital norms” or U.S. hospital dynamics. But Ontario has its own hospital policies, midwifery systems, Canadian health insurance structures, standards for midwives, and variations by province.

If you look for doula courses Ontario or doula courses Canada, you want a training that understands:

• Ontario hospital policies, obstetric care standards
  
• Canada’s midwifery systems and provincial differences
  
• Canada’s cultural, racial, and equity realities
  
• Insurance, privacy laws, regulatory systems
  

Similarly, if you compare with doula courses United States, the U.S. version often assumes private-pay systems, insurance models, hospital systems very different from Canada’s. Be cautious of imported curricula that don’t localize.

What to Ask Before You Enroll in a Doula Course

To avoid blind spots, test your prospective doula training against these questions:

1. Do you teach emotional labor, grief, boundaries, burnout prevention, not just comfort measures?
   
2. Do you provide mentorship, ongoing support, or supervision? Double check the accuracy of this!
   
3. Do you teach systems navigation: how to advocate within hospital settings, medical hierarchy, power dynamics?
   
4. Do you include robust training on contracts, marketing, business systems, client pipeline?
   
5. Do you localize the content to my province/state/country?
   
6. Do you support diversity, equity, anti-racism, anti-oppression frameworks – especially in birth care?
   
7. How do your alumni fare: is there follow-up, alumni support, realistic expectations?
   
8. What is the refund or transfer policy, and what happens if I can’t fulfill the hours or need more support?
   

If the program cannot answer these deeply, tread carefully.

How to Supplement What Courses Skip (Pathways to Full Preparation)

If your course doesn’t cover all the truths above, here’s how to supplement:

Area	What to Seek Out	Why It Matters
Emotional resilience	Personal therapy, peer support groups, supervision	To process trauma, avoid vicarious burnout
Systems advocacy	Shadow births, hospital volunteer roles, working committees	To grow confidence in navigating institutional power
Business training	Courses in marketing, bookkeeping, branding, workflows	To make your practice sustainable
Boundary training	Workshops in communication, conflict resolution, ethical boundaries	To protect your energy
Trauma-informed practice	Specialized training (e.g. trauma, perinatal mental health)	To safely support clients with trauma histories
Local experience	Shadow local doulas, attend local hospital tours, volunteer	To learn “how things really work where I live”
Reflective practice	Journaling, peer supervision, case studies	To bring awareness to your growth edge

 

Why Others Skip These in Courses – And What That Cost Is

Why do many doula training organizations skip these heavier truths? A few reasons:

• Emotional or systemic content is harder to “teach” in a neat curriculum
  
• It’s riskier content (talking about power, burnout, grief)
  
• Many trainers are also new and haven’t yet processed all this themselves
  
• Courses sell the romance of birth, not the messy reality
  
• To keep curricula lighter, they omit depth or real-world challenges
  

The cost is high. Doulas graduate feeling underprepared, under-supported, overwhelmed. Some leave the work. Some burn out. Many carry emotional scars from feeling discouraged or like they failed.

Stories From Doulas Who Learned the Hard Way: and came through our transfer program

“I thought after my training I’d just step into the birth space and know what to do. I didn’t expect how raw grief could hit me. The first client whose birth ended in a c-section, I cried in my car afterward. No one told me how to carry that.”
— anonymous doula reflection

“I showed up ready to advocate in the hospital. I walked into a hallway and was shut down by a nurse. I froze. I didn’t have the practice to know what to say to that. I was left shaken and questioning whether I belonged.”
— reflection shared in doula community

These stories echo across the field. Doulas deserve way better preparation.

How Bebo Mia’s Approach Intentionally Addresses These Gaps

At bebo mia, our goal is not just to train doulas, but to forge resilient, empowered, sustainable doulas. That means:

• Embedding supervision, mentorship, reflective practice, peer support in our community
  
• Offering modules on emotional labor, grief, boundaries, systems navigation
  
• Customizing content for Canadian and American and wider global contexts
  
• Teaching business skills, marketing, financial stability
  
• Centering anti-racist, anti-oppressive, justice-rooted perspectives so you can work more equitably
  
• Supporting you not just during training, but afterward in your first years of doing the work
• We offer FREE therapy to all our students and alumni so that we can have healed healers!

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Choose a training that will take care of you!

Doula work is sacred, powerful, beautiful. But it is also demanding, messy, and sometimes heartbreaking. Most courses focus on the “how to support birth”  or “how to support new parents” piece which is necessary, but never sufficient.

If you step into this work wisely, with realistic expectations and a strong support structure, you can not just survive… you can thrive. You can be a guiding, grounded, powerful caregiver who does this work long term, sustainably, with passion and purpose.

If you want help choosing or vetting a doula course (in Canada or the U.S.), or want help assessing your readiness in any of these less-spoken areas, we’d be honored to help you.

We also offer free auditing, so let us know if you would like to sit in one of our classes or workshops so that you can first hand see the bebo mia magic! 

Want to join us? Check out our full spectrum doula training here.