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If you have found yourself Googling should I become a doula at midnight, you are not alone… we get it and have been there when we were early on our birth nerd journeys.
This question usually shows up when you feel called to do something bigger or with more impact. Many of the students that come into our online doula training find that they feel that pull after a birth that cracked them open or a postpartum experience that left them angry or awake. This was how bebo mia came to be after our founder, Bianca, was changed after her birth and 2.5 year undiagnosed postpartum depression journey.
Generally, you hear that calling to become a doula when you are feeling that the systems around families are not working and you want to be part of something different.
Becoming a doula is deeply meaningful work. It can also be emotionally demanding, logistically complex, and wildly misunderstood. Honestly y’all, being present as babies are born is wildly unbelievable. You get to witness magic. Over and over.
This guide is here to slow the decision down. Not to sell you on doula work and not to scare you off either. Just to help you decide if this path actually fits your life, your values, and your capacity right now.
First, what does a doula really do
A doula provides non medical emotional, physical, and informational support to people during fertility journeys, pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and loss. Not all doulas work in all areas. Most doulas focus on 1 or 2 areas like birth and postpartum or fertility and loss. We do highly, highly recommend that doulas train as full spectrum doulas though! Check out the blog here that explains why.
OK, so how do doulas take care of their clients? Well, that support can look like hands on comfort in labor, advocacy conversations in clinical spaces, text support at 2am, education before big decisions, or simply sitting quietly with someone during an impossible moment.
Doulas do not replace medical care. Full stop. We support people inside systems that often feel rushed, fragmented, or unsafe. You know, you have questions for your doctor but they already have their hand on the doorknob – it is hard to advocate for oneself in those conditions.
This work is deeply relational. It requires emotional regulation, strong boundaries, and the ability to sit with discomfort without fixing it. Oh, and listening… you need to learn to listen.
If you want a clearer breakdown of what doula training actually includes and what questions you should be asking before enrolling, this post is a must read
https://bebomia.com/doulacoursequestions/
Is becoming a doula worth it
This is one of the most common questions we see. And the real answer is it depends on what you expect the work to give you.
Doula work is not a guaranteed fast income stream. It is not passive as the work is deeply heart-centered. It is not always flexible in the way Instagram promises. But it totally can be!
Many doulas start part time. Many build layered careers that include education, digital offerings, teaching, community work, or other care based roles alongside client support.
According to one doula training organizations survey, many doulas attend between 10 and 20 births per year once established, and income varies widely depending on location, scope of practice, and business model. There is no single salary number that applies to everyone.
Want to know how much you can make as a doula? We bet you do… so check that out here.
If your version of worth it is meaningful work, deep relationships, autonomy, and the ability to shape your own practice over time, this path can absolutely be worth it. Like 100%!
If your version of worth it is predictable hours and immediate financial stability, you will need a very intentional plan or a different entry point into the field.
We talk more honestly about these realities in this blog as well
https://bebomia.com/5-things-consider-doula/
Before you decide, ask yourself these five questions
1. What support do I actually have
Doula work means that you need support, especially if you are doing on-call birth work.
If you have a partner, co parent, friend, or chosen family who will be impacted by your schedule, this needs to be a real conversation. Not just about logistics, but about emotional labor, rest, and money.
If you have children, you need a plan for childcare before you ever take a client. Not a hypothetical plan. A real one.
Don’t let this stop you! Bianca, our founder, was a single parent most of her doula career and started her practice a couple months after her daughter was born. She had no money and no support and no family within 3000 miles. She met some other doulas at a free meet up and they set up a system where they took care of one another’s kids for free since none of them had money for childcare. This was an awesome system that allowed her business to grow really quickly.
Another hack though can be postpartum care instead of doing a birth doula training. Many doulas with young children start in postpartum care, where the work is scheduled and predictable. Others begin with education or community based roles.
There are so many paths you can take when you finish your online doula training. In fact, it is one of the first business lessons in the bebo mia full spectrum training. We teach you 35 things that you can do with your training (many of them being done from home ideas).
2. How do I handle emotional intensity
This work includes so much darn joy. It also includes grief, trauma, and systemic harm.
You will support people through moments they will remember for the rest of their lives. You need places to debrief, process, and be held yourself.
Research on birth workers shows higher rates of secondary traumatic stress when adequate peer support is not in place. Community is not a nice bonus in doula work… it is a protective factor.
This is why the structure of your training and the community around it matters so much.
In our online doula training, you get free therapy forever and a community that doesn’t step away just because you are finished your program.
3. Am I comfortable running a small business
Most doulas are self employed. That means contracts, boundaries, marketing, scheduling, and money conversations.
Note: Many doulas also are contracted by insurance companies or work for a hospital program or agency. So, you don’t have to start your own business!
You do not need to be a business expert on day one. You do need to be willing to learn and to ask for help.
Online doula training programs vary widely in how much they prepare you for this reality. Some focus only on the heart of the work and leave you alone with the rest.
That gap is where burnout and giving up on your doula dream happens. We are not even being dramatic. Less than 10% of people who take a weekend training actually have a viable business because they do not have time to teach you that in the program. You can read our rant about weekend trainings here.
4. Why do I want to do this work
This is not about having the perfect answer. But it is about having an honest one.
Wanting to help people is not enough on its own. You also need to be able to support choices that may not align with your own values or experiences when you are providing non-judgmental care.
Doula work is about consent, autonomy, and meeting people where they are.
If you are curious about whether your reasons and temperament align with this work, we created a free quiz to help you reflect before committing to training – take the quiz here!
5. Am I choosing this because I am running toward something or away from something
Many people find doula work after feeling burned out, undervalued, or disillusioned in other helping professions.
That does not mean doula work is the wrong choice. It does mean it will not magically fix systemic issues like overwork, gendered labor expectations, or lack of support.
Doula work can be healing. It cannot be the only place you put your healing.
How do I become a doula if I decide yes
If after all of this your body still feels like a yes, the next step is choosing the right training.
The development of online doula training has opened access for people who cannot travel, take time off work, or afford in person intensives. It has also created a lot of noise and confusion.
When looking at programs, ask:
How long is the training
What kinds of care does it include
What support exists during and after training
How much real world practice is built in
How is trauma informed care taught
What happens if my life gets complicated while I am enrolled
We break these questions down in detail here:
https://bebomia.com/doulacoursequestions/
And if you want a broader look at what to consider before choosing any doula course, this post is a solid starting point:
https://bebomia.com/5-things-consider-doula/
A gentle reality check before you decide on your online doula training
The world does need more doulas. Especially doulas who are thoughtful, prepared, and supported.
But the world does not need more burned out caregivers who were rushed into this work without the tools to sustain themselves.
You are allowed to take your time with this decision. You are allowed to say not now. You are allowed to choose a version of this work that fits your actual life.
And if you are still curious, still circling the question, start with reflection instead of enrollment.
Take the quiz
https://bebomia.com/doula-or-not/
Read the questions you should be asking
https://bebomia.com/doulacoursequestions/
Then listen to what your body says next.
That is where the most honest answers usually live.
If you want to jump on a call with us, we are happy to chat. Reach out to [email protected]
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