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When I signed up for my doula training online, I thought I was just learning how to support other people’s births. Really, I had some friends say I would make a good doula and kind of figured it would be a hobby that would (maybe?) generate some money. I really downplayed it in my head… maybe it was to protect myself in case I did not follow through or if *gasp* I wasn’t good at it.
I had no idea I was about to change the way I felt about my own birth, my parenting style, and even how I see myself as a parent.
That’s the beautiful thing about a full spectrum doula training – you think you’re signing up to help others, but somewhere along the way, you start healing yourself.
Learning to See Birth Differently (Including Your Own)
When I started my doula certification, my own birth stories were still sitting heavy on my chest. There were parts I had never told anyone, feelings I hadn’t let myself unpack. I figured I’d just “leave my own stuff at the door” and focus on learning.
That’s not what happened. Like, not even a baby bit.
In my doula training, we learned about medical racism, fatphobia in medicine (hello, personal experience as a big bodied gal), obstetric violence, and the frequent blatant medical coercion that happens to parents. We talked openly about the systemic issues that make birth harder, scarier, or more dangerous for so many families. As I listened, I realized, my birth trauma wasn’t my fault. My body hadn’t failed. The system had. Three times!
That shift alone was life-changing. I could finally look at the births of my children without shame. I felt a fire was lit inside me. Oh boy, the rage that finally flowed and had a place to go!
Side note about rage: One of the instructors, Bianca, has an awesome podcast called Hot+Brave that talks all about this and that alone changed my life.
The Healing Power of Empathy
One of the most unexpected changes in becoming a doula was how much more empathetic I became…not just with my clients, but with my own kids.
As doulas, we’re trained to meet people exactly where they are, to listen without judgment, to respect choices even when they’re different from what we’d choose for ourselves. This was a bit tricky for me at first, not going to lie.I thought I did know what was best for my clients since I had 3 kids. Also, I had a suuuuper judgment about certain things with birth and parenting which was hard to sort through. But once I got it, that skill carried over into my parenting. Really, it spread into all areas of my life.
I started noticing my children’s unspoken needs. I became calmer in moments that used to push my buttons. I could connect with my kids on a deeper level, because I was connecting differently with myself. I was not attached to their outcomes. I was just loving my family through the ups and downs of the choices they were making for themselves.
I used to be the mom/daughter/sister/freind that thought I had to fix everything for, well, everyone. Now, I just listen when my friends and family are sharing what they are struggling with and that alone has given me so much mental load back!
Learning to Drop the Guilt from my Doula Training
In the bebo mia doula training, one of the most freeing things we talk about is letting go of unrealistic parenting expectations.
As a doula, you quickly learn there’s no one “right” way to give birth or parent. That mindset shift gave me permission to stop comparing myself to some imaginary “perfect parent” standard. Thank you social media for always making me feel like I am failing! I stopped feeling guilty about the decisions that were right for my family but didn’t match what my neighbor, my mom, or a parenting book said. Because remember, you are the ones dealing with all of it all the time, so unless those people with all the advice are with you at 3am too when your baby is crying, you do what works best for you!
And yes, we literally get scripts in the program for shutting down unwanted opinions without getting sucked into an argument.
The Free Therapy That Makes All the Difference
This is something I had never seen in another doula training offer, free therapy for all students and alumni.
The truth is, the work we do as doulas can bring up a lot of emotions. We hold space for other people’s grief, fear, and joy, while also carrying our own. Having access to therapy during training helped me process my own experiences so I could show up fully for my clients and my family. This was a huge pro for bebo mia, as well as a perk of taking a doula training online!
It wasn’t just professional development…it was personal healing.
Real Knowledge, Real Confidence
Because bebo mia’s doula certification is full spectrum, we went way beyond the basics of birth support. I learned evidence-based information about childbirth, fertility, lactation, postpartum recovery, and infant feeding. I also learned how to support families experiencing loss, working with surrogates, or navigating birth with disabilities, chronic illness or with a history of abuse..
The deeper my knowledge grew, the more confident I felt – not just as a doula, but as a parent. I could make decisions from a place of understanding instead of fear. I could advocate for my kids in medical settings. I could sort fact from myth in the parenting world… and this was such a game changer!
Building Resilience and Adaptability
In doula work, you learn very quickly that things rarely go exactly as planned. This is not because birth is dramatic or anything like we are led to believe from every television show and movie. It is just people make their birth plans before birth has started and they may want something different in the moment. Either way, we practice staying calm in the unexpected, finding creative solutions, and helping clients feel safe even when things are changing fast.
That skill carried over into parenting in the best way. I’m more adaptable now. I don’t crumble when the day goes sideways. I can keep my cool and find the path forward, which helps my kids feel secure no matter what’s happening around them. Becoming a doula literally brought calm into my world.
A Community That Feels Like Family
One of the biggest surprises in my doula training online was the sense of community. My classmates weren’t just other students, they became friends, mentors, and a source of constant support. I literally laughed in every class and workshop and cried at least 5 times with some of my awesome peers in breakout sessions.
It’s a community that has my back not just in doula work, but in parenting too. We share resources, swap advice, and remind each other to practice self-care. It’s the kind of village every parent needs. Thank you for the tips for my jealous and acting out little one from my class bestie, you know who you are. ❤️
How Doula Work Changes You Forever
Looking back, I can see that becoming a doula wasn’t just about learning a skill set, it was about transforming the way I relate to birth, parenting, and myself. I would have never guessed all of this would happen to me and my world when I first searched ‘how to become a doula’ many, many months ago!
Here is my short list that I literally texted my friend a couple weeks ago who is thinking about signing up for the next cohort of the doula training online after she asked me if she could parent and be a doula. I told her my life has changed for the better and it was one of the most amazing gifts to myself:
- I healed my relationship with my own birth story (thank goodness)
- I parent with more empathy and less guilt
- I gained knowledge and confidence in decision-making which I struggled with before
- I built resilience for life’s unpredictable moments – hello, like everyday with little ones!
- I found a community that understands and supports me like I have never felt as an adult
If you’re thinking about taking bebo mia’s online doula training, know this, it might just change your life in ways you can’t imagine yet. You’ll learn to support others, yes, but you’ll also find yourself supported in return.
Plus, the first time I held someone’s hand as they breathed their baby down was so magical, words do not express. No one can prepare you for the bliss that comes with protecting parents and birth and babies, you will have to just experience that to get it.
Signing up for this doula training will change your life in all the most incredible ways. I promise.
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