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As doulas, we’re trained to be caregivers… to anticipate needs, to hold space, to stay available for the people we serve. But here’s the thing no one warns you about: you cannot hold space if you’re being crushed by it.
In this episode of Hot + Brave, Bianca Sprague cracks open one of the hardest and most essential parts of running a sustainable doula practice: boundaries. From middle-of-the-night texts to late invoices to clients who want emotional support that stretches far beyond your role, this episode is your toolkit for staying grounded and professional.
If you’re currently in a doula training or exploring online doula schooling options, this one’s especially for you, because strong boundaries aren’t just nice to have. They’re the foundation of a healthy, thriving practice.
Why Boundaries Matter for Doulas
Boundaries are the scaffolding that hold your business, and your nervous system, together. Without them, burnout is inevitable.
You know the signs:
- You’re answering texts at 3 a.m. about pineapple.
- You’re chasing unpaid invoices while trying to rock your own baby to sleep.
- You’re sitting in a hospital parking lot for hours because someone said “soon.”
Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Every birth doula, fertility doula, and postpartum doula hits this point. What matters most is what happens next.
Boundaries aren’t about being cold; they’re about being clear. Clear is kind. They protect you, your energy, and your ability to show up grounded and compassionate for your clients.
If you’re currently going through a birth doula training online program, this is something your instructors might touch on briefly… but at bebo mia, we teach you to embody it. We believe that learning to set clear, compassionate boundaries is as essential as learning about labor stages or comfort measures.
The Scripts Every Doula Needs
In this episode, Bianca shares 12 word-for-word scripts you can copy, paste, and customize for your own practice. These are the scripts you’ll wish you had in your first few months as a doula.
You’ll learn what to say when:
- Your client sends a 3 a.m. text about pineapple.
- You’re chasing down late invoices.
- Family members overstep your role.
- Someone wants “just a quick call” without booking you.
- Clients feel disappointed after birth.
- A client wants a refund during their on-call period.
These are the messy, human, and necessary conversations that will happen again and again in your work. Having these scripts ready means you can respond confidently and compassionately, instead of panicking or overexplaining.
You’ll walk away knowing exactly what to say in those uncomfortable moments that can make or break your confidence as a professional.
When Clients Get Too Comfortable
It’s one of the trickiest parts of the job, when a client starts treating you more like a best friend than a professional. Late-night memes, casual check-ins, or emotional dumping can quickly stretch your emotional bandwidth to the limit.
We love that our clients feel safe with us. That’s part of the magic of being a doula. But emotional safety doesn’t mean emotional dependency.
Boundaries don’t ruin connection; they sustain it. They help ensure that both you and your client feel safe, respected, and cared for. They make sure your clients get a rested, regulated version of you — the one they actually hired.
If you’re currently enrolled in online doula training or exploring doula schools, look for programs that teach the emotional, professional, and business sides of this work — not just the anatomy of birth. Because burnout doesn’t come from attending births; it comes from never stopping to rest.
Knowing When It’s Time to Step Back
Sometimes, the bravest boundary you can set is ending a working relationship. Maybe your scope is being pushed. Maybe your gut is screaming that something’s off. Maybe your energy is just gone.
Bianca walks through how to do this with compassion, clarity, and professionalism, and how to protect yourself contractually with a clear “termination clause” before you ever need it.
You’re not everyone’s doula. You’re the right doula for the people who align with your values and your energy. Protecting your energy protects your clients.
For Doulas in Training and Beyond
If you’re just starting your doula schooling journey, this episode is a must-listen. These lessons will serve you from your very first client to your hundredth.
Boundaries don’t make you less caring… they make your care sustainable.
At bebo mia, our Maternal Support Practitioner (MSP) Certification is one of the best online doula training programs available. It combines evidence-based education with trauma-informed practice, business mentorship, and the kind of community that will hold you up when things get hard.
Whether you’re searching for doula certification in Canada, looking for birth doula training online, or exploring the best doula schools to start your journey, you’ll find a home here.
What to do next to protect your sanity and your doula business?
- Download the free workbook: 10 Boundary Scripts for Doulas
- Pick 2 scripts to customize for your own voice and practice.
- Practice saying them this week: bonus if you role-play with another doula or peer mentor.
This episode and workbook are designed to help you build a doula business that feels sustainable, ethical, and joyful.
And if you’re ready to take the next step, come train with us in the Maternal Support Practitioner (MSP) Certification where we don’t just teach you how to support birth. We teach you how to support yourself.
💬 Listen to the full episode now on bebomia.com/hot_brave_podcast/ or wherever you get your podcasts.
This is your invitation to stop shrinking and start standing tall in your power.
Until next time, bebobabes, stay hot + brave.
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